Friday, December 23, 2011

I Miss You

I miss you. I miss you all of the time, but these happy times when family and friends gather make me think about you even more and make your absence feel even larger.

I miss you when I look at Scout (and Levi) and am reminded of you when you were a little babe. I think of how you would have teased Emma & Alec that both Scout & Levi look like you.  You would have loved being an uncle, I'm so sorry you never got to meet them.

I miss you when I'm making lists of what to give people for Christmas and I don't get to think of something that will make you smile.

I missed you when we got a white elephant gift that you would have loved. 

This will be our first Christmas, where all of us will be celebrating together, at Mom and Dad's, without you.  The first Christmas without you, we ran away to Mexico.  Last Christmas, we were at the Bybee's.  Even though we are a large crowd when we all get together, we still feel like someone is missing.

I miss you when I read Mom's Christmas letter and there is no update on what you did this year.

I miss you when I hear about your friend's going off to college, coming home for their first Christmas as adults, and I think about all of the things that aren't experiencing.

I miss you when I see Spiderman stuff and remember how much you loved it.  It made you act like a little kid...we couldn't get enough of giving you Spiderman gadgets.

I miss you when I look at Alec & Emma and see how much they have changed.  But you are just staying the same in my head.

I miss you when I look at our family picture hanging above the fireplace.  And it feels wrong to replace it with a current one, that includes Levi & Scout and lets Alec & Emma grow up a little...but I know that someday it will happen.

I wish that you could come for a visit.  Just to say hi, catch up, and make a few new, fresh memories.


Kimball Family said...

Ditto to all of the above. Except I now have to add, I miss you when I read my sister's blog and I'm reminded that I miss you even though I try not to think about it. 16 forever. I can't even imagine him being older.

Dana said...

What a beautiful post Lauriel. I've thought of many of those things too, but I know how much harder it is for you and your immediate family. We love you all & miss Josh forever!