Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, my Mom in-law, to me (it's my first!), and to all of the other mom's and mom to-be's out there.
Photo on 2012-04-23 at 17.23 #2
Last July, this little girl made me a mom. And being a mom is so exactly what I had hoped for and so completely different than I ever imagined. She is loving, and easy, and fun, and cute, and interesting.  I didn't really expect the interesting part, that every day she would do something that would amaze me.  I know we got extremely lucky, and that not all littles are like I hope I'm not jinxing us.  But having her is so much easier than I expected.  I expected less sleep and more stress.  I expected more work, and I expected a child to feel like more of an invasion of our life, more of a giving up.  She has definitely invaded our life, but in a positive way that I don't begrudge at all.  She's invaded our life with love, hugs and kisses, laughter and silliness, and excitement about all of life that we get to share with her.  I can't even imagine how boring and mundane and meaningless life would be without her.

Granted, there are the hard times.  The times when Andrew and I are so tired of making decisions about all of the little things.  Does she need to eat?  Sleep?  Diaper change?  Are we feeding her right?  Teaching her enough?  There are so many little details to think about and worry about that sometimes, you just get tired of making decisions.  And there are the times when I'm tired and I need a break and to have a little bit of me time.  Luckily, I've been blessed with an awesome husband who is always happy to let me "tag out".  And then there is the guilt when you mess up.  No one wants to mess up when it comes to their kid, but it's going to happen because no one is perfect.  Like when when I leave a poopy diaper on too long because I didn't notice.  Or when she snuck in the laundry room behind me and grabbed the ant bait and almost ate it.  Or when I bump her head on the car as I get her in and out of the car seat.  Or when Lucy jumped on the bed and almost crushed Scout because she thought I invited her up.  There are a lot of "oops" moments.  And then I feel guilty because it is so not Scout's fault when I mess up.

And when I think about everything that I have learned in the past 10 months of being a mom, I realize that I have some pretty awesome role models.  My mom, and my mom in-law, are two of the most amazing women that I know.  They are both amazingly kind and devoted to their families.  From them, I have learned what it means to be a mom.  I have learned by watching their examples as they work to take care of their families.  They have listened, and given advice when I needed it.  They play with us, and we have so much fun together.  They are always there to help, and they have always let us know that we are not alone.  Most important, they have loved me and my little family.  I hope that I can be that amazing for Scout.  I have a lot to live up to!

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